I, me, myself

Ever since I was a child (small…..no, immature enough to be recognised by that set of syllables), I wanted to fly, move across levels of altitude and sight lands unknown. But it is now, that I realise, that my innermost volition was just be to free, and the desire to be high up physically, was just a morph.

Yes, I want to be free. Free from the clutches of beliefs, notions and emotions, that barb the freedom of thoughts and existence……..free from social bounds, that don’t recognise, or even strive to accept relations beyond it periphery (a very narrow one…..huh)……free from the classifications and hollow partitions that try to dictate my stimuli. I want to be free of heads that divide me, and may be, define me as well. Yes, I don’t want to be called a Sikh, or a Punjabi, or an Indian for that matter. I don’t want to be divided, and I don’t want to be defined. Yes, I want to stay unquestioned and unjustified.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be separated, but I do want to be different. I don’t want to defy society, or humanity, but I do wish to redefine them (not for me only, but not by dictate also). I want to feel the ebullient and ecstatic wind passing through my being, with my arms stretched out to hug the magnanimity, idyll and blind carelessness that freedom exudes. I want to let the music inject itself into my existence, so that my volitions are not dictated by tangible mirages, but by the purity of immortal, immaterial and unapproachable, but coherent, waves that sanctify senses. I want to live the turbulence of waves, which follow no directions or motives. I want to reflect in the clear and continuous elixir of simplicity (that is pure enough not to bear a colour even), like the golden rays of the sun. I want to glisten in the face of night, like stars that don’t show up in light, but deluge the senses with their grace at the slightest invitation. I want to vanish in the air like fragments of dust, to separate myself from all that binds me, and become a part of everything and nothing at the same time, by the virtue of vicinity that invisibility and omnipresence bears. I don’t want to close my eyes to obviate chances of looking at the undesirable, I but want to be blind to the boundaries that sect desires and despises. I don’t want to judge, I don’t want to test, I don’t want to analyse; I just want to believe, I just want to agree, I just want to love.

It is not wrong that I don’t see riches with aspiration, that I don’t lay eyes on things that glitter, and faces that glisten. But the truth is (I don’t know why), that my eyes can’t see them. They seem to be immune to the affliction that disparages simplicity or low standard (as somebody might define) and the school of thought that advocates harsh, bold and clear boundaries to separate, rather than a gradual, dim, blurring of factions (factions really …. because may be, all is one), like the bands of a rainbow.